No Stage Fright Allowed

Have you ever seen the movie, “Waiting”. The movie was about the restaurant industry, however, one of the more hilarious parts of the movie was the character Calvin and his problem with peeing in a public restroom.

This happens to my friend Paul all the time. During the 7th inning of a Rays game, Paul and I left for the bathroom. If you have ever seen the inside of men’s bathroom at a sporting event, it is a bit crowded to say the least. Basically there are about 30 urinals lined up and each one has a line 10 deep and you just kind of wait your turn to relieve yourself.

When we walked out of the bathroom, Paul looked at me and said, “Damnit, it happened again.”
Me: “What happened?”
Paul: “I couldn’t go again.”

I never knew he had that problem, but I guess it happens to him quite a bit. It is pretty common for guys, and usually they could combat that with the “shy guy” stall, but then you run the risk of a non-flusher.

You might be wondering why I am talking about such a taboo subject, and I don’t mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable. However, I was forwarded an email about this bathroom in the middle of downtown Houston, Texas.

The Outside of the Toilet.

It is made entirely out of a “one way” glass. Nobody can see you from the outside, but you can see out. How weird?!? I don’t know if I trust it. What happens if there is a spot where people can see you…talk about getting caught with your pants down.

I guarantee Paul could never use it. I on the other hand, would love this contraption. I would put my butt against the window and knock really hard and think that people could see me mooning them. In reality there would be no way they could see me, but it’s the principle.

I think the best thing would be looking at the line behind you. Imagine the guy who really has to go number 1.

Stage 1: The bounce. The guy would start to sway back and forth just hoping that you would be done soon. Then you just wait a little longer for stage 2.

Stage 2. The crossing of the legs. Right over left, or left over right…it doesn’t matter because both are hillarious.

Stage 3: The pain in the eye. This is where I would start to feel bad and get out, but if you think outside of the box, you did the guy a favor. He is going to appreciate this pee, and definitely get over his stage fright. I’d do that for Paul.

The Inside of the Toilet... Could YOU use it?

I still don’t know how I feel about this toilet, but it is definitely cool. I think it is something like skydiving, you have to do it once in your life. Therefore I am going to add this to my bucket list. I figure if I am going to use it, I am going to enjoy it. So I will wait after 20 or so wings settle, grab a nice book and make an event out of it.